


Another Way to Heal

by r_grayjoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: daily_deviant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-19
Updated: 2011-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-15 04:28:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r_grayjoy/pseuds/r_grayjoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus just wants to save Severus.  The task proves to be more complicated than it sounds, and requires more from Remus than he ever could have anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Way to Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Posted to daily_deviant in March 2010. This fic is based upon a wonderful piece of art by osmalic, titled "Another Way to Be Free," which can be found here: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/daily_deviant/223916.html. (Art is NWS!)

  
**Another Way to Heal**   


Severus had always been too thin and too pale, but now he seemed colorless and very small, like an old black and white photograph with its edges frayed. He lay on the bed, silent and still save for the shallow rise and fall of his chest with his breathing. His skin felt chilled despite the heat of the room, his cheeks were hollow, and there were dark circles around his eyes. Amazingly, it was an improvement over the way he'd looked when Remus had first brought him here.

Wherever here was.

Remus glanced around, still half expecting to wake up any moment and discover that the last two days had been some sort of bizarre, stress-induced dream. He and Severus seemed to be in a small cabin, one main room with a kitchen in the far corner and an attached toilet. One side was taken up by the bed, a round table, and a pair of squashy chairs that had clearly seen better days. The other side was dominated by a long bench covered in tools and materials for potions-making. A tall shelf overflowing with books leaned against the wall behind it.

On the table sat a rack with virtually every sort of medical potion known to wizardkind, from burn salve to Skele-Grow, all meticulously organized and labeled. It seemed that Severus had considered every means and manner of injury and death imaginable and had prepared for all of them. Yet even this level of planning might not be enough to save him.

When Remus had come to consciousness in the Great Hall, he'd quickly become aware of two things. First, that his head felt like a knarl was trying to bore its way out of it, and second, that he was lying amidst a collection of corpses. Evidently, he'd been mistaken for a lifeless body himself, and he didn't want to think too much about how close to the mark that might have been.

Staggering to his feet, he tried to find out what had happened. Through panicked, disjointed bits of conversation he worked out that the battle had not gone well, and Voldemort had given them the opportunity to turn Harry over before he renewed the attack. And then he heard about Severus.

Across the room, Remus spotted Hermione talking to Minerva. Hermione was clearly agitated, her arms flapping as she spoke, while Minerva looked wan and grim. As he drew nearer, Remus began to understand some of Hermione's words. Professor Snape. Voldemort's snake. Blood. The Shrieking Shack.

 _Dead_.

Without thinking, Remus flew out of the castle at a dead run. He didn't slow down until he reached the end of the Hogwarts grounds and then he Apparated directly into the Shack. Severus was there, exactly as Hermione had described him: covered in blood and as still as death. Remus brought a trembling hand to his mouth, choking back bile and trying futilely to stave off the stench of fresh blood and old decay.

He forced his legs to carry him closer although he expected there was no longer anything to be done for Severus. When he knelt beside him, though, Severus took a tiny, gurgling, wheezing breath. Somehow he still clung to life. It was incredible and inexplicable, and Remus could only assume it was because Severus was too damned stubborn to die easily. Defiant to the end, that was Severus Snape. Although this wouldn't be the end if Remus had anything to say about it.

Likely it wouldn't be the end if Severus had anything to say about it either. Surely he wouldn't have gone into a situation of this sort unprepared. The man always had a contingency plan. Thinking Severus must carry something -- a potion, perhaps -- in the event of a worst case scenario, Remus began rummaging through Severus' pockets. As one pocket after another turned up nothing, Remus grew frantic, nearly tearing at Severus' robes. It was by pure chance that he spotted the flash of silver at Severus' neck.

Grasping for the silver, Remus realized he'd found the links of a chain circling Severus' neck. As he drew it out from beneath Severus' robes, a locket swung free. Remus took it in hand, barely registering the simple fleur-de-lis design engraved in the front, and hoped against hope that it contained a cure. He fumbled with the latch and popped the locket open. The sharp tug at his guts and spinning sensation that immediately followed were wholly unexpected.

Unprepared as he was, Remus would have hit the wood floor hard were he not already on his knees. He shook off his surprise, glanced around, and quickly appraised the situation. It appeared that Severus had indeed had a contingency plan, and this was it.

With a strength born of fear and necessity, Remus lifted Severus and dropped him on the bed. Severus had barely hit the mattress before Remus rushed to the rack on the table and returned to the bedside with an armload of bottles and vials. He dumped a wound-cleaning potion on Severus' neck followed by the strongest healing potion he could find, then poured a blood-replenishing potion, a healing draught, and an antivenin down Severus' throat. Then he stuffed a bezoar into him just to be sure. He didn't know whether all of these cures were safe to mix or whether he was getting the doses right, but it certainly wasn't as though he was going to kill Severus. The irksome git was doing quite a fine job of dying without Remus' assistance.

Having done all he could think to do, Remus leaned back and watched Severus intently for any sign of change. Three heartbeats passed, four, then Severus' breathing became easier and more steady. Remus' knees nearly folded as relief washed through him. Severus wasn't out of the woods yet, not even close, but now he might at least stand a fighting chance.

Remus was suddenly exhausted, but he wouldn't allow himself to rest quite yet. He couldn't leave Severus in such a ghastly state. Carefully he Vanished the blood-soaked robes and cleaned Severus up as much as he could, taking pains to remove the stickiness from his straggly hair. Then he conjured a cloth bandage and wound it around Severus' throat, protecting what remained of the wound. Once he was finally satisfied with his work he dragged one of the chairs over and collapsed into it. Only then did he notice that his own robes were covered in blood. He cast a _Tergo_ or ten on himself to siphon up the worst of it and decided he'd deal with it properly later. For the time being, he settled into the chair to begin an overnight vigil.

The overnight vigil was now going on three days. Remus hadn't spent that entire time in the chair at Snape's bedside, of course. He'd poked around and found a cupboard with some spare clothing and had traded out his soiled robes for a set of deep blue ones that presumably belonged to Severus. They'd been tight across the shoulders and a bit too short, but a few quick transfigurations had remedied that. Next he'd examined the kitchen and found it stocked with enough provisions to last a considerable while. The books, he'd discovered, were all advanced magical tomes, many of which had pages marked with random bits of parchment and notes scrawled in the margins.

It hadn't taken long for Remus to become quite well acquainted with the small cabin, though, so while he hadn't spent all of his time at Severus' bedside, he'd spent most of it there. He observed Severus closely, oddly fearful that his condition might deteriorate if he turned his attention away for too long. Occasionally he dozed off in the chair, but never for more than a few minutes before he jolted awake with a sense that something was amiss.

Weary from sleeplessness, worry, and boredom, Remus propped his head on his fist and sighed. As if in response, Severus' eyelids fluttered. Instantly alert, Remus learned forward. "Severus?"

Severus' eyelids fluttered again and then, very slowly, he blinked his eyes open. A few seconds passed before his lips parted. "Wh--" he began to say, but the words turned into a coughing fit.

Jumping up, Remus grabbed the glass of water from beside his chair. "Here, here." He lifted Severus' head and held the glass to his lips, helping him take a few small swallows until the coughing stopped.

Lowering Severus back to the pillow, Remus hovered over him, putting himself in his line of vision. "It's about time you woke up," he said in what he hoped was an encouraging tone.

The haze seemed to clear from Severus' eyes as he focused on Remus. He cleared his throat. "So this is Hell," he said. Then his eyelids slid shut and he fell into unconsciousness once more.

Well. That had been a hell of a greeting.

* * * * *

When Severus awoke again a few hours later he seemed more alert. Remus didn't bother hoping that he'd be any happier to see him. "Good morning, Sunshine," he said.

Severus tried to turn his head to look at Remus and hissed, his face twisting into a mask of agony.

"Oh, damn," Remus said. "Let me get you a pain potion." He rushed to the rack and returned with the promised draught, then helped Severus to drink. After a few moments, Severus relaxed with a sigh.

Without turning his head this time, Severus asked, "What happened?"

"I don't know how much you remember," Remus said. "It seems you were attacked by His Noselessness' snake."

"You don't say."

"All right, fine. The short version is that I heard about the incident, somehow got to you while you were still breathing, found your locket, and brought us both here. I assume 'here' is some sort of safe house you set up for yourself in case of total disaster."

"Something like that," Severus said. "And apparently you had enough sense to administer the applicable potions."

"Saying 'thank you' would be appropriate at this point."

There was a long pause before Severus said, "Thank you." It was prompted, but at least it sounded sincere. Remus would settle for that.

The small amount of conversation appeared to have exhausted Severus again, Remus saw. "Sleep some more, Severus. We'll talk later." For once in his life, Severus did as Remus asked.

* * * * *

This time Remus had a pain potion on hand when Severus woke again in the late afternoon. After he'd helped Severus take it, he said, "I have some broth ready for you. Do you think you can sit up and drink a little of it?"

Severus answered with a slight nod, so Remus aided him in sitting up against the pillows. Although Severus gritted his teeth and winced through the process, he didn't make a sound. Once he appeared more or less comfortable, Remus handed him a warm mug.

Taking the mug in both hands, Severus fixed Remus with a scrutinizing gaze. "You look like hammered shit, Lupin," he observed.

"So good of you to notice."

"And you're wearing my robes," Severus accused.

"As mine were covered in your blood, I thought it was only fair for you to supply a temporary replacement set."

Severus scowled, but rather than arguing he focused his efforts on taking a few sips of the broth. Then he asked, "What happened? With the war."

Remus shook his head. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No. The situation at Hogwarts was still… unresolved when I went after you and ended up here. I haven't attempted to leave since then because I assume you've warded this place so thoroughly that I'd never be able to find it again, much less get back inside."

"Quite," Severus confirmed. "My wand?"

"I didn't find your wand on or near you in the Shrieking Shack. But I confess I wasn't precisely looking for it."

"No, of course you wouldn't find it," Severus said, frowning as though he had just recalled something vexing. "Your wand?"

"Yes, I have my wand," Remus said, momentarily confused.

Despite his poor condition, Severus could still roll his eyes remarkably well, it turned out. " _May I borrow_ your wand," he clarified. When Remus hesitated he explained with obvious annoyance, "To adjust the wards."

Taking the mug away from Severus, Remus handed over his wand. He watched as Severus murmured indistinct words and waved the wand in an intricate pattern, the air around him shimmering faintly. When he was finished, he dropped his arm to the bed and breathed heavily as though the spellwork had sapped what little energy he'd had. "There. The wards will recognize you now."

"Aren't you afraid I'll return with an army of Aurors and half the Order or something?" Remus asked.

"If you wanted me dead you could have just left me in the Shack."

He had a point, Remus supposed. "Are we within a reasonable Apparition distance of Hogsmeade, by any chance?"

"Assuming you've a reasonable aptitude for Apparition, yes." Before Remus could reply to the insult, Severus added, "But go tomorrow."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"For fuck's sake, Lupin, transfigure that chair into a bed and get some sleep. You look like hell."

* * * * *

"Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"Yes, yes, I promise not to expire while you're away."

The previous evening Remus had decided that there wasn't much point in balking at Severus' order since it did sound like an incredibly good idea. He'd turned the chairs into a small bed, fell onto it, and slept soundly for fourteen hours. He felt rather guilty for having left Severus unattended for so long, but on the other hand he no longer felt like he'd been run down by the Knight Bus.

Now he could only hope Severus would be all right alone for a little while longer. Remus had placed water, broth, and pain potions within easy reach and had made sure Severus was comfortable. As long as Severus didn't decide to use Remus' absence as an opportunity to do something stupid he would most likely be fine.

"Right, then," Remus said as he tucked his wand into the sleeve of his robes. "I'm not certain how long I'll be gone. I suppose it depends upon what I find. It won't be more than a few hours, though."

Severus' response was an eye roll and a weak shooing gesture. Remus shook his head and headed for the door. When his hand was on the knob, however, Severus said, "Lupin."

Remus turned. "Yes?"

"Why did you save me?"

Caught off guard by the question, Remus had no idea how to reply. He'd asked himself the very same thing countless times over the last few days, but he was no closer to having an answer than he had been when he'd first appeared in the cabin with a nearly-lifeless Severus. Perhaps it was that all of his old friends, nearly his entire generation were gone and Severus was the last remaining link to happier times in Remus' life. Or maybe it was that he couldn't tolerate one more preventable death. Then again, it could have simply been that he'd hit his head when he'd been hexed and it was some form of post-battle insanity. Remus knew better than to voice any of these thoughts. Severus would only mock them. After a long pause, he simply said, "No one deserves to die that way."

 

When Remus returned -- wearing his own robes -- he couldn't contain his glee. He burst through the door saying, "He did it, Severus! Harry did it! Voldemort is gone, and he's not coming back this time."

Closing his eyes, Severus sighed, "Thank god."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Understanding Remus' meaning, Severus replied, "Would you have believed me if I had?"

Remus considered the question. "If you'd explained… then yes, I would have."

"I didn't particularly feel like explaining it to you."

"You preferred to have me think you were a murderer, a coward, and a traitor?" Remus asked, incredulous.

"Two out of three, Lupin."

Although he disagreed, Remus suspected it would do no good for him to argue the point then. Perhaps with time. Taking up his station beside the bed, he asked quietly, "So is it true?"

"That depends upon what you heard."

"Is it… Is the part about Lily true?"

Severus pinched his lips together, then said sharply, "Truth is relative." He was clearly not inclined to say more on the subject. "I take it from your exuberance that Potter survived?"

"Yes." Remus broke into a grin all over again. "Although I'm not quite sure how. He says he was dead but came back."

Severus' brows knitted together. "Are you planning to tell me the entire story in random order, or do you intend to start making sense sometime soon?"

"I'll try to make sense, but I'm quite confused by it all myself." Remus took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts. "I spoke with both Minerva and Harry directly, but things at Hogwarts are chaotic right now and neither one of them has a great deal of time to spare. Anyway, it seems that after Voldemort thought he'd killed you, he announced that he'd give everyone inside the castle one hour to turn Harry over before he renewed his attack.

"Of course there was no way any of Harry's allies would even dream of doing any such thing. But Harry went out to meet Voldemort on his own. This is where it gets rather confusing, I'm afraid. Voldemort used the Killing Curse on Harry. Everyone saw it hit and Harry claims that he was dead. But he says that Voldemort only succeeded in killing a part of himself and that he, Harry, came right back."

Seeing a contemplative expression form on Severus' face, Remus asked, "Does that make some sort of sense to you?"

"Perhaps. Continue."

"Well, while everyone believed Harry to be dead, the Death Eaters returned to Hogwarts and the battle resumed. Harry revealed himself and faced Voldemort again. Apparently he took great delight in telling Tom and everyone else within ear shot how clever you were and how you'd been on our side the entire time, by the way."

"Wonderful." Severus' tone suggested that it was anything but. "All I need is that brat and his obnoxious minions thinking I'm some sort of hero."

"Yes," Remus said, the corner of his mouth threatening to twitch up into a smile, "That would be a gross underestimation of the truth."

Severus snorted. "Oh, spare me your recitation of my supposed virtues."

"For now," Remus agreed. "After that… Well, Harry said a number of things about wands changing hands and choosing their masters. I confess I couldn't keep up with it all and Harry didn't have time to explain it properly. In the end Voldemort tried once more to kill Harry, but apparently this time his wand recognized Harry as its true master and therefore refused to do Voldemort's bidding. The Killing Curse rebounded and that was the end of Tom Riddle."

After a long silence, Remus prompted, "What do you think?"

"That this might confirm some suspicions I've held for several months now. I believe if you look for information on Horcruxes you might be able to piece together part of the answer."

"Huh. All right." Remus was just as confused and even more curious than ever. Setting the matter aside for the time being, he said, "Personally, I was particularly gleeful to hear that Fenrir Greyback was hexed into unrecognizable furry bits, but only after Sybill Trelawney had knocked his brains around with one of her crystal balls. I suppose it wasn't a terribly enjoyable evening for him all in all."

"Good. That animal should have been put down years ago."

Remus could only wish he had been. Choosing not to dwell on that thought, he said, "You might or might not be pleased to hear that your presumed death was avenged. Nagini's head was cut off -- by Neville Longbottom wielding Gryffindor's sword."

"Dear Merlin. I don't know which is more improbable and appalling; the notion that Longbottom would even attempt such a thing, or the image of him swinging around a great, bloody sword. Are you certain he didn't lop the damned snake's head off entirely by accident?"

Severus' reaction was so predictable that Remus couldn't help but laugh. "You can thank him later."

"I most certainly will not."

"If you insist, Severus."

"Stop looking smug, Lupin," Severus said. "You can regale me with more tales of Gryffindor valor later. First… tell me who we lost."

* * * * *

Bent over a spread of open books, Remus squinted to make out the words in the candlelight. It was late in the evening and although he could have used simple spells to brighten the room, he didn't want to risk waking Severus. He settled for leaning in close enough to the tomes to smell the aged parchment and ink, and soon he was too caught up in his reading to care about the poor light.

"Lupin? _Lupin!_ " The urgency in Severus' voice had Remus snapping his head up and lighting the room instantly. What he saw then made his heart lurch. Severus had his hand raised in front of his face and was staring at it wide-eyed. His fingers were red and wet.

Cursing under his breath, Remus rushed to Severus' side. Blood covered Severus' neck and was spreading across the sheets. The wounds had reopened. Remus Vanished the soaked bandages, grabbed a healing potion, and poured it over Severus' throat. Gradually the bleeding slowed to a trickle and a simple healing charm stopped it entirely.

With shaking hands Remus spelled away the gory mess and wound a fresh bandage around Severus' neck. Trying to keep his voice level and reassuring, he said, "We should have expected that, really. The same thing happened to Arthur after he was bitten by Nagini." Once he'd finished with the bandage, he straightened and met Severus' gaze. "I think perhaps another round of potions is in order."

Severus only nodded.

As he moved to the table and selected three vials, Remus said, "Your collection of Dark texts is… extensive and varied. And there are more that you didn't bring here, I assume?"

Shrugging with the shoulder on his uninjured side, Severus replied, "Know thy enemy."

"Hmph." Remus handed Severus the vials. "At any rate, I think I understand your line of reasoning about the Horcrues. Harry… You think he was one?"

"Yes." Severus drank the first potion and uncorked the second.

"He lived his whole life -- his childhood -- with a piece of a Dark wizard inside him." Remus shook his head. "Poor boy."

"Mmm." It was as close to sympathy for Harry as Severus was likely to come any time soon, Remus supposed.

When Severus had finished the potions, Remus sent the empty vials to the sink. "How did you know? Did Albus tell you?"

"Of course not. That would have been too dangerous. I was too close to the Dark-- Voldemort. But I saw enough of the puzzle pieces to fit a few together. I wasn't certain until you told me about Potter returning from death, though."

Remus nodded. "And the wands? I don't suppose you have any idea what Harry was talking about."

"All I know is that apparently Riddle nearly killed me so that he could get his hands on the wand that he later used to off himself. Ironic, that."

"Well, when you put it that way." Much of Remus' tension drained away as he laughed. "All right. It's late. Will you be okay if I get some sleep?"

"No, actually. It's entirely possible I may die from overwhelming joy at the absence of your company."

As he turned away from Severus and prepared for bed, Remus wondered if he'd only imagined that he'd heard prevarication rather than true ire in Severus' words.

 

Remus awoke in darkness with a sense that something was very wrong. He remained still and listened, and soon heard what sounded like a gasp of pain. Once more he was at Severus' bedside with the room illuminated in an instant.

Severus was ghostly pale and covered in sweat, his damp hair clinging to the sides of his face. His body was rigid, his fists clenched the sheets, and his breath came fast through his teeth. Darting to the table, Remus snatched up the strongest pain potion in the rack -- the kind that Severus always refused because he said it dulled his wits and made him sleep -- and brought it back, then held Severus' head steady and helped him drink.

A spasm shook Severus' body and his back arched up off the bed. Reminded of a person under the Cruciatus Curse, Remus felt sick. But then, slowly, Severus began to relax. After a minute or two the worst seemed to have passed.

Softly, Remus asked, "Why didn't you call me?"

"It wasn't worth waking you over."

"I bloody well beg to differ!" Remus huffed. Knowing he wouldn't be sleeping again that night, he pulled the chair over and sat. "You're a stubborn, exasperating arse, Snape."

"I do try."

Remus ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He knew why Severus hadn't woken him, but saying so directly would be counterproductive at best. All he could do was try for subtle and hope Severus took it to heart. "Exasperating or no," he said, "you're one of the strongest people I've met in my life. What you went through in the last couple of years… I don't know anyone else who could have done it. Certainly not me."

No reply came, but Remus hadn't expected one. A wave of his wand cancelled the bright, unnatural light so that only the candles remained flickering on the bench at Remus' back. Unwilling to return to bed, Remus settled into the chair and watched the faint shadows dance in the corners.

Several minutes passed in silence and Remus thought Severus had been pulled back into sleep by the pain potion. He was surprised when Severus said, "Lupin. You asked me before if it was true, what you heard about Lily."

Severus' voice was quiet and his words were perhaps a bit fuzzy around the edges due to the potion or exhaustion or both, but he sounded alert and controlled.

"Yes, I did," Remus replied.

"I told you that truth is relative."

"Yes."

"The truth," Severus said, "is that she was my friend. Anything else is… superfluous. She was my best friend from the time that we were nine years old and she was the only true friend I ever had."

Stunned by Severus' admission, Remus had no idea how he should respond. He decided to go out on a limb and say, "Others could have been, could _be_ your friends if you'd let them."

"Others like you?" Remus could hear the sneer in Severus' tone, but it was a shadow of its usual self.

Before he could think better of it, Remus reached out in the dark and grasped Severus' hand. "Exactly like me."

Severus snorted and turned his head away, but he didn't pull his hand out of Remus' grip.

* * * * *

The following morning Severus was back to his usual cantankerous self. He made no reference to the previous night’s events other than to scoff at Remus for staying awake half the night like an overprotective mother hen. Remus chose to believe that Severus’ barbs were merely intended as a means of restoring some measure of his dignity. At least that interpretation made Remus want to hex him slightly less.

As before, Severus was initially tired and weak from the blood loss and the effects of the venom. He improved steadily, but Remus was more watchful this time. Thus when Severus' wound opened again two days later, Remus was there with potions and spells before Severus had time to lose so much blood. Afterwards, Severus instructed Remus in the making of a poultice with mat root and cat's foot that might draw out the venom. It appeared to be working until Severus lapsed into excruciating pain and delirium after three nights.

There was little Remus could do but administer pain potions and antivenin and wait for them to take effect. When Severus finally relaxed, Remus looked down at him and said, "Shouldn't you be getting better by now?" He knew that his worry showed clearly on his face, but there was hardly any point in trying to fool Severus with false optimism.

"I _should_ be dead."

Remus' voice was a fierce growl. "Wrong answer."

"You might very well be the only person who thinks so."

"I'm not."

"Then you're part of a very small minority."

Sighing, Remus decided there was no point in trying to talk Severus out of his sulk and returned to the more important topic. "I don't suppose I can talk you into going to St. Mungo's."

"Out of the question."

"Severus…"

"No. I would almost certainly not make it back out again. There are too many from both sides of the war with an interest in seeing me dead." Before Remus could argue, Severus added, "And if, by some stroke of fortune, I did survive, it would only be to go directly to Azkaban."

"You wouldn't go to Azkaban," Remus said with all the certainty he could muster.

"Have you conveniently forgotten that I used an Unforgivable Curse in front of witnesses?"

"At the behest of the person upon whom you used it!"

Severus' tone was caustic. "That distinction would hardly matter to an irate Wizengamot in need of a scapegoat."

"The Wizengamot can go hang. We all know what you did for our side. Harry and Minerva would fight for you. The Order -- what's left of it, anyway -- would fight for you." Remus took a breath. " _I_ would fight for you." As soon as the words had left his mouth, he realized how true they were. He would fight for Severus' absolution and freedom every bit as faithfully as he'd been fighting for his life over the past several days.

"You're a fool," Severus replied, turning his head away.

"You'd better hope I'm not too great a one, since I'm pretty much all you've got right now," Remus said. "If you won't go to St. Mungo's then I suppose some research is in order."

 

Remus immediately threw himself into investigating any sort of healing magic associated with venoms or wounds caused by magical creatures. Severus worked as well any time he was strong enough. In truth, he pushed himself far too hard when he should have been resting, but Remus wasn't about to tell him to stop. Severus had a right to participate in the search for his own cure, and besides, his knowledge of poisons and antidotes far surpassed Remus'.

The first spell Remus attempted caused Severus' wounds to open, bleed profusely, and resist closing. It took three topical healing potions, two ingested healing draughts, and countless skin-knitting charms to get the flow of blood to stop. From that point forward, they were much more cautious.

Severus' texts containing medical spells and discussing the theory of healing magic were fairly limited, so after a couple of days Remus began making trips out to collect additional research materials. He worried about leaving Severus unattended and never stayed away any longer than necessary. Each time Remus returned in haste and asked Severus if he was all right, Severus replied with eye rolls and derisive snorts, but he didn't complain further.

To Remus' surprise, he and Severus worked together quite well. It resulted in considerably fewer insults to Remus' intelligence than he would have expected, at any rate. They made good progress and came up with a number of interesting ideas. Yet nothing they tried seemed to have much of an effect, and Severus continued to suffer relapses. It was disheartening, but Remus had nothing if not perseverance.

* * * * * 

"For the love of god, Lupin, what's the matter with you today? Aside from the usual, that is. Forget where you hid your favorite chew toy?"

Pulled from his thoughts, Remus looked up from the book that he hadn't actually been reading. "Hmm?"

"You, Lupin. If you were any more distant and distracted you'd be in danger of inadvertent Apparition. You're _fidgeting_ , for Merlin's sake."

"Sorry, Severus," Remus bit out. "I'll try to be less offensive to your sensibilities."

"Your uncharacteristic belligerence only serves to illustrate my point."

"One mildly sarcastic comment hardly equates to belligerence, but," Remus sighed, "you're right. I apologize for… fidgeting."

With a huff of annoyance Severus said, "It wasn't a complaint. I was asking what the trouble was."

Remus raised an eyebrow at that unlikely claim but nonetheless answered, "The full moon. It's tomorrow night."

"Well, it's certainly too late for me to brew Wolfsbane, even if I were in any condition to attempt it. You'll just have to deal with being a slavering beast for the night. I wouldn't recommend eating me, however. I'm probably highly toxic."

Mouth agape, Remus stared at Severus in horrified disbelief. He didn't know which part of Severus' statement to address first. As he watched, one side of Severus' mouth curled up into a triumphant smirk.

"It's good to know you're feeling well enough to harass me effectively in fifty words or less," Remus groused. "I wasn't worried about Wolfsbane. Or about eating you, for that matter. I can go out into the woods to change. Our location is remote enough that I won't be a danger to anyone, and the wards on the cabin will keep you safe from me. But I don't like the idea of leaving you alone for so long. Overnight…"

"I'll be fine. As I keep telling you, I'm perfectly capable of drinking a potion without your help."

While that was true in general, it wasn't always the case. If Severus started bleeding in his sleep or if especially bad pain struck suddenly, he might not have the chance to even reach for a potion, much less drink one. They were both well aware of that reality, however, and there was no point in stating it. Instead Remus said, "I do hope so. After all, I'm afraid I can't put off my plans to be a slavering beast on your account."

 

When Remus awoke on the ground naked and cold, he felt as though he'd been worked over with Beater's bats by the entire European Quidditch League. He was sorely tempted to just stay where he was and groan for a while, but concern for Severus had him pulling himself to his feet. After gaining his bearings, he shambled to the cabin, shrugged into the dressing gown he'd left outside, and stumbled through the door. "Severus?" he croaked.

"I'm here, and I'm perfectly fine," came Severus' reply. "You, however, look like you've been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs."

"In that case, I feel pretty much the way I look," Remus said.

"Then I suggest you take a pain potion or five and lie down before you fall down."

Shuffling to his transfigured bed, Remus said, "The latter I can do. I won't use the pain potions, though. The supply is running low and you need them more than I do."

"Stop trying to be a martyr, Lupin. You can brew more pain potions in the next few days. Even a third year could manage the simple ones, and you're considerably more competent than a third year."

Before Remus could protest, a vial sailed through the air, bounced off his chest, and landed on the bed beside him. Remus looked up to find Severus giving him a very convincing arguing-with-me-would-be-very-bad-for-your-life-expectancy glare. "Right, excellent plan," Remus said. Then he drank the potion and promptly went to sleep.

* * * * *

Two stirs anticlockwise, four stirs clockwise, a pinch of ground nettles, repeat twelve times. Attempting to ignore the ache in his joints, Remus counted off the sequence. It was the day after the full moon and although he was sore, weak, and tired, he didn't want to put off making the healing draughts. The supply did need to be replenished, and he intended to earn the ones he'd taken and would be taking over the next couple of days.

Flame raised slightly, six whole cloves added one at a time, twelve stirs anticlockwise. Remus set the stirring rod aside and flexed his hand. He'd taken a pain potion before he'd started working, but the stiffness and aching were rapidly returning. He'd need another dose as soon as he'd finished brewing this batch. Perhaps some lunch would be a good idea as well. He was never very hungry after the full moon, but he needed to retain his strength. The potion shimmered and turned a clear pink. Remus picked up the stirring rod.

Thirty coriander seeds added simultaneously, one slow stir clockwise. As Remus watched, the potion thickened and turned an angry red. A large bubble rose up from the depths of the cauldron and the viscous liquid began to froth. Remus grabbed for his wand.

 

The next thing Remus was aware of was that he was lying someplace soft. His face and chest stung, but gentle fingers were smoothing something cool over his forehead. He opened his eyes and found Severus sitting at his side, scowling down at him. Severus' jaw was clenched, his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowed. He looked positively livid.

"Awake now?" Severus ground out. "Good. I hope those burns hurt like nine kinds of hell. You deserve to suffer for your idiocy."

Ignoring Severus' words, Remus said, "What are you doing out of bed? You're not well; your wounds will start bleeding again." He tried to sit up, but Severus pushed him back down.

"Then it will be your fault! You didn't precisely leave me with the option of remaining in bed when you covered yourself with boiling, slightly acidic, gelatinous goo, did you?"

"I'm sorry, Severus. It was an a--"

"Obviously it was an accident, you ninny! Your level of incompetence is truly astounding. For fuck's sake, even a first year can tell the difference between coriander seeds and mustard seeds!"

Although Severus was nearly shouting at Remus, his fingers continued to spread the salve over Remus' face, and his touch remained careful and light. Remus thought he should probably object to being called an incompetent ninny, but the cool sensation and minty scent of the salve were remarkably soothing. Still, he managed to grumble, "I can tell the difference. But apparently I was more distracted by the aftereffects of the transformation than I anticipated. You could have labeled the jars, you know."

"Pardon me for not having anticipated a lame werewolf needing to brew potions in my cabin. And you're an even greater imbecile than I realized! What were you trying to prove by brewing in your condition? The potions could have waited another day or two!" As Severus berated him, he finished treating Remus' face and moved on to his neck, his soft touch a stark contrast to his harsh words. "You could have killed yourself! Do you have some sort of previously undisclosed death wish? God save me from foolish Gryffindors."

Remus grew more and more incensed as Severus' rant progressed. Then he abruptly realized what Severus was saying, and his anger dissolved. It was so absurd, in fact, that Remus had to suppress a laugh.

Drawing back, Severus said, "You think this is funny, do you?"

"No, I don't think this is funny at all. It's just that…" Remus' smile turned the tiniest bit smug. "You were worried about me."

"I absolutely was not! I was _worried_ that you would burn my cabin down or leave me to dispose of your corpse!"

Remus' smile broadened. "Whatever you say, Severus."

Severus glared at Remus for a few seconds, then stood. "Just for that, you can do your own chest." He dropped the jar of salve onto the bed beside Remus. As he walked stiffly over to his own bed, he added, "And you can bloody well clean my kitchen and workbench afterwards."

* * * * *

Unable to rest, Remus sat in the flickering light of a half-dozen scattered candles and watched Severus sleep. Severus' chest rose and fell steadily, the harsh lines on his face were smoothed over in his repose, and in the warm candlelight he almost seemed healthy. He'd continued to suffer from the effects of Nagini's venom, however, despite all they'd tried, and it was taking its toll. He was weak, tired, and growing increasingly apathetic about finding a cure.

Remus was losing hope as well, although he never suggested as much to Severus and he never stopped researching diligently. He and Severus were simply not trained in healing magic, and wounds and illnesses caused by magical creatures were tricky and complicated. Not for the first time, Remus considered taking Severus to St. Mungo's. He didn't want to go against Severus' wishes, but he also didn't want to watch Severus die needlessly. If and when the situation became dire enough… well, Remus didn't know what he'd do.

With a sigh, Remus shifted in his seat, then raised his arms above his head and stretched. As he did so, his foot nudged something beneath Severus' bed. Curious, he crouched down to investigate. Drawing his wand and whispering a faint _Lumos_ , he saw that the object was a book. It was covered in dust, and Remus had to hold back a sneeze when he pulled it out of its hiding place.

After carrying the book over to the workbench, he brushed off the cover and opened it gently. It seemed to be a spell book of some sort and clearly old. Remus thumbed through a few pages, then noticed that a slip of parchment marked a place farther along in the tome. He immediately turned to it. The text was old and the language antiquated, but it only took him a moment to realize that he was looking at some kind of healing spell. Pulling a candle closer, he began to read.

 

Three hours later, Remus stood beside Severus' bed with the book clutched in his hands. Before he could have second thoughts, he said, "Severus."

When his name was spoken, Severus awoke instantly. "Lupin? What is it?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"About what?" Severus' eyes landed on the tome Remus held. "Because it wouldn't have made any difference if I had," he snapped.

"It would. It will."

"There's no one to perform the ritual." Severus' bitterness came through clearly.

"There is." Remus took a deep breath. "Me. If you'll let me."

"Lupin, did you actually _read_ the spell? The person performing it must want the recipient to survive enough in order for it to work. They have to--"

"I know the requirements of the spell," Remus said, his voice firm.

"You've taken leave of your senses."

"Perhaps, but nonetheless the spell will work."

Severus was silent for so long that Remus began to think he wouldn't answer. At last he said, "I know it won't work. But since the offer has been made, I suppose it would be nice to have one off before I die."

Relief, excitement, and anxiety flooded Remus all at once. "Now," he said.

Although Severus seemed a bit taken aback by Remus' haste, he said, "Now's as good a time as any."

Setting the book aside, Remus toed off his shoes and socks. With trembling hands, he removed the rest of his clothing, letting his robes fall to the floor and leaving himself exposed to Severus' scrutiny.

His gaze traveling over Remus' body, Severus licked his lips and swallowed. "The… other components?"

"I have them." Remus went to the workbench and returned with the four items he'd carefully gathered. Holding them tightly, he asked, "Are you ready?"

As soon as Severus gave a stiff nod, Remus closed his eyes and began the chant that would initiate the ritual. Soon he felt magic suffuse the objects in his hands and then permeate his body. Power washed over him, through him. He heard a sharp intake of breath from Severus and knew he must sense it as well.

When Remus opened his eyes, Severus had extended his arm and was watching him expectantly. Ignoring the Dark Mark that was revealed in all its ghastly detail, Remus knelt and laid out the ritual items: a candle, a strip of cloth, a small knife, a heavy bowl. He stood the candle near the bed and lit it with a gesture, then took up the cloth and began tying it around Severus' upper arm. "Is that too tight?"

"It's supposed to be tight."

Remus assumed that meant it was all right and continued. Once the cloth was secure, he reached for the knife. He ran it slowly through the candle flame, then hesitated only an instant before he made a short but deep cut on the inside of Severus' arm just below the bend of his elbow. Severus didn't flinch, didn't make a sound. A few drops of blood seeped out and made a thin trail, red and bright. Remus slid the bowl under Severus' forearm just in time for it to catch the single drop that fell.

The simple part was finished.

When Remus stood, he looked at Severus and found him looking back. They regarded each other for a long, uncomfortable moment before Severus sneered. "Having second thoughts, Lupin?"

"No." Goaded into action, Remus lifted the sheet, climbed into the bed, and moved to kneel between Severus' legs. Severus once more struck him as small and tattered lying there before him, and a powerful longing welled up in Remus' chest. He didn't merely want to heal Severus, but to protect him, claim him, _touch_ him. Reaching out, he laid his palms on Severus' shoulders and experimentally ran them along his chest and stomach. Severus' skin felt every bit as hot and smooth as it appeared, and that combined with the knowledge of what was to come was all it took for Remus' cock to harden.

Yet Severus was tense, his free hand balled into a fist at his side and his jaw clenched. "Relax," Remus said, stroking his thigh. "I'll make this good for you, I promise." Determined to fulfill his vow, he leaned down and placed a kiss just below Severus' navel. Severus started at the contact, but Remus didn't back away. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he worked his way up Severus' body, licking here, nipping there.

Initially Severus remained stiff and unyielding, but soon his breathing quickened and his erection rose up to bump against Remus' stomach. Spurred on, Remus explored every bit of Severus' skin he found in his path, searching for ways to make Severus react. Severus barely moved, didn't make a sound, but Remus could see the way his fist gripped the sheet and his arm shook with the effort to maintain his control. Remus huffed a soft chuckle against Severus' nipple. Severus was as stubborn as they came, but Remus was winning this negotiation.

When Remus reached the bandage around Severus' neck he drew back. Severus' face was flushed, his eyes wild and dark, and his lips… his lips were slightly parted, the pink tip of his tongue just visible between his teeth. Something about those lips pulled at Remus and the lure was too great. With a groan, he plunged down to capture Severus' mouth and caught him up in a heated kiss.

At last Severus reacted. His body surged up against Remus and he made a sound; a deep, resonant, needy sound that Remus greedily devoured. Remus had meant to be gentle, but that sound drove away all thought of restraint. Severus, however, had stopped resisting. His hand came up to cup the back of Remus' neck and hold him in place as he dragged his tongue over Remus' mouth and licked, bit, sucked.

Once more Remus felt powerful magic building around him, within him, and this was not dark magic, not in the least. It was something pure and simple that bypassed the intellect and sought out those things not ruled by logic or rationality. Aware that it was time, Remus reached towards Severus' outstretched arm and murmured a word, and the strip of cloth fell away.

Bracing himself on his elbows, Remus thrust his hips against Severus', seeking friction. As they gasped in unison, Severus tossed his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. Remus tangled his fingers in Severus' hair and began moving against him in earnest, and Severus rocked up in counterpoint, catching Remus' rhythm. Beneath him, Severus responded with greater ardor than Remus ever could have imagined, and he was consumed by the intensity of it.

Remus moved faster and faster, his breath coming hot and ragged against Severus' neck. Trapped between their bodies, their cocks slid in the pool of sweat and pre-come gathering there. Soon, all too soon, Remus felt his balls tightening, his muscles tensing. As much as he wanted to put Severus' pleasure before his own, he wanted, _needed_ release too urgently to stop. "Severus," he gasped, "I'm… I can't… Oh god!" With one final snap of his hips, he let out a broken wail and came with such force that he thought surely he would black out.

The last of his climax still pulsing from him, Remus reached down, slicked his hand with his own spend, and took Severus in a firm grip. He pumped hard, his pace unrelenting. Severus' fingers dug into Remus' back as though he were afraid Remus might leave. But Remus wasn't going anywhere, wasn't stopping, wasn't letting up. Severus pushed up into Remus' fist again and again, and small, tortured noises fought their way past his lips until at last he shouted, " _Fuck!_ " With that single syllable uttered, he shuddered and poured himself over Remus' fingers.

Feeling as though his bones had turned to liquid, Remus rested his head on Severus' chest and panted for breath. As he lay there, he sensed the magic that had fueled the ritual draining away. He chased it in his mind, wanting to hold onto the spell for just a little longer.

A quiet minute passed, then Severus spoke. "It…" He brought his hand up and carefully pressed his fingertips to his neck. "It worked." Remus looked up at him and saw that his expression was one of open astonishment and wonder.

His exhaustion abruptly gone, Remus sat up and fumbled to remove the bandage from Severus' neck. The wound was completely healed. No scar, no mark at all remained to indicate that he'd ever been injured. Remus let out a wordless cry of triumph and leapt to his feet.

The candle beside the bed had burned out and the bowl was full of a dark, ugly fluid. An inky trail wandered down Severus' arm, but it was dry and the cut was closed. Smoke rose from the bowl as though the substance in it were acidic, but Remus had purposely chosen a solid, marble vessel. Grabbing up his wand, he Vanished the foul fluid and then cleaned the stickiness from Severus and himself while he was at it.

As Remus raised his eyes to Severus again, all his earlier uneasiness returned tenfold. He had plainly revealed his feelings to Severus -- the feelings that were required in order for the healing to take place. He couldn't deny them now even if he wished to. With apprehension twisting in his chest, he waited for Severus' reaction.

After what seemed like an eternity, Severus said, "Well? Are you getting back in the bloody bed or not?"

A tremendous grin threatened to split Remus' face in half. "I'd like to, but I was just thinking that this bed is far too small for the both of us. It would make more sense to transfigure the two beds together." And so he did.

Sliding back under the sheets, Remus pulled Severus' thin body into his arms. Severus would still need some time to regain his strength, but that would happen quickly enough now that the venom and its curse were finally gone. With his head resting on Remus' shoulder, Severus said, "Leave it to you to be the world's only _cuddly_ werewolf. Absolutely ridiculous." His tone was disparaging, but Remus noted that he wasn't moving away.

"Gee, Severus. If I'd known you were such a romantic I'd have lit more candles."

"Do I strike you as the romantic sort, Lupin?" Severus sniffed. "If that's what you're expecting then it's a good thing you're used to disappointment."

"What I expect," Remus said, "is a brilliant, sarcastic, passionate, and steadfast companion who will challenge me."

"Hmm, well. That might be within the realm of possibility." Severus was beginning to mumble his words, and he attempted to stifle a yawn.

"Rest now."

"Mmm," Severus agreed, and for once he did as Remus asked without argument.

Whatever was to come, Remus was fairly certain it wouldn't be dull. "No," he whispered as he ran his fingers along Severus' arm, "I don't think I'll be disappointed at all."


End file.
